[TV: Televisual Virus]
Have you contracted TV?
Are you sure?
Here are the telltale signs:
> £1,000 in cash burning a hole in your pocket (that brand new made in Korea 50-inch full-HD flat screen television is looking mighty temping) No? Well I am certain the store offers a reasonable rate of finance – CHECK!
> £30 / month for a million inane channels – CHECK!
> £145.50 / year for the licence – CHECK!
> A deep rooted desire to have your nose rubbed in the most grotesque filth your enemies can muster – CHECK!
> Hours of
what could be time better well spent to spare – CHECK!
> The ability to switch off your higher brain functions at will – CHECK!
Congratulations, you have contracted TV!
“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.” ~ Homer Simpson (Flaxen-faced sexegenarian philosopher)